Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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