At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
