whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize