I feel like abortions should bother me more
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
