so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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