he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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