Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
