Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
