If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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