Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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