we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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