dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
