Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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