hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
