i just had sex bonerless
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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