There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
