My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
