She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
