Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  im drinking this country out of the recession.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): im drinking this country out of the recession. http://tfl.nu/s99f
  Replies (23) Good night (2204) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life. http://tfl.nu/zrqp
  Replies (41) Good night (5095) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up http://tfl.nu/4ijk
  Replies (10) Good night (582) Bad night (2856)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits" http://tfl.nu/l1ei
  Replies (29) Good night (5114) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate. http://tfl.nu/wnmg
  Replies (11) Good night (1002) Bad night (5049)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex. http://tfl.nu/8qyg
  Replies (18) Good night (1047) Bad night (4767)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic http://tfl.nu/xmss
  Replies (4) Good night (2644) Bad night (945)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/y8c3
  Replies (29) Good night (9036) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're the best girlfriend ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over? (312): You're the best girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/ubhn
  Replies (18) Good night (4643) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards. http://tfl.nu/8v5s
  Replies (11) Good night (2081) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage http://tfl.nu/tfgj
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook? http://tfl.nu/02qq
  Replies (5) Good night (347) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness http://tfl.nu/3h8d
  Replies (2) Good night (825) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it. http://tfl.nu/4ym6
  Replies (1) Good night (877) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09 http://tfl.nu/v4ok
  Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (316)

Randomize