drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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