Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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