As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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