are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
