I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
