my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
