You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
