Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
