they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
