Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
