Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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