Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize