note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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