Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
