I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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