guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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