He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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