apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
