It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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