Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
