If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
