i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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