I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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