Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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