She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
