Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
