oh god the rape fog is back!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
