You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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