i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
