they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
