i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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