Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
