You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
