drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
