you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
