I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
