in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
