very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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