Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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