PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
