dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize