I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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