Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
handjob tips. give me some.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
