We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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