I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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