I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
