I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
