I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Randomize
