Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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