What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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