She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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