We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
