My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
