I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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