Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
