i just had sex bonerless
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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