just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
