What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
