Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
